A little something funny to pass the day away.

I have a lot of red shirts...

Rise.

This movie is worth every single dollar you've made for the past 20 years. Go see it.Christopher Nolan brings his Batman trilogy to a beautifully executed ending. Bringing back the epic cast of Bale as Bruce Wayne, Caine as Alfred, Oldman as Gordon, and Freeman, as Fox, he adds Tom Hardy, Joseph Gordon Levitt, and Anne Hathaway to the conclusion. Was I excited to see these people added to this movie? Not really. I still remember Star Trek Nemesis, G. I. Joe, And the Princess Diaries 2...excuse me for a second. Almost threw up from the pain Nemesis caused me. Just Nemesis. Why would I ever subject myself to a movie that Marlon Wayans is in and one that is Disney drivel? But I digress.
 I've been finding that I am slowly gaining respect for Joseph Gordon Levitt and Tom Hardy as actors. Since they were in Inception they've shown that they have some talent. Well, at least when Nolan is involved with the movie they have some talent. Dark Knight Rises increased it my opinion of them greatly.  Hardy as Bane wasn't campy or over the top at all. He bulked up and even with the scuba mask portrayed a great intelligent monster. Levitt did a good job as Officer Blake, showing such disgust in a scene that you physically get a bit sick too. Then there's Anne Hathaway. Yes she is a hottie with a body. Yes she does a good job as Selina Kyle. If I say anymore about her it's probably gonna take a turn to how great her ass looks in that "Catwoman" outfit. It does. It is one well sculpted caboose. Damnit. Sorry. Tried to stop myself from that. Can't change the past so moving on.
 Now when it comes to Christopher Nolan you need to look at the fact that he's never made a bad movie. Ever. And Dark Knight Rises is no exception. Christopher Nolan has done a fantastic job of handling of nearly 80 years of comic book history. The conclusion of his Batman universe is a testament to how good of a cinematic storyteller he is. Fanboys everywhere should bow and pay homage to him for what he has created. Yes there are changes. Some big and some small. But when you look at it all you need to tell your fanboy is to shut his fucking noisehole and enjoy what is before him. The Nolanverse is pretty much the greatest Batman movies ever made. My suggestion to you is to get off your ass and go see this in the theater. Then when it comes out on DVD go buy it. Do it now. It's something you need to do before you die.

5 ways to shut a Nerd up and make it squeal with joy.

 I caught myself thinking about this today so I figured I'd post it on the Interwebz (it's made of tubez). What are the five best comic book movies? So I grabbed a tradepaperback and went to my Thinkin' Seat and I thought good and hard. Here's what I came up with:

#5: Scott Pilgim vs. The World
 The comic book, written and drawn by Bryan Lee O'Malley, was inspired by the Plumtree song 'Scott Pilgrim' (Duh). I know it's a goofy, video game of a movie but it's just so damn fun. I love it. The soundtrack. The cast. The good Culkin and Chris Evans. Hell, I even loved Michael Cera doing his Michael Cera thing. It's the story of one dudes quest to defeat the seven evil exes of the woman he has fallen head over heels for. It is nicely transferred from the page to the screen by Edgar Wright. Yeah. The guy who did Shaun of The Dead (One of the five greatest movies ever!), Spaced (If you haven't seen Spaced I hate your face), and a nice variety of sweet ass movies. The soundtrack, put together by Beck, features sweet bands like Metric, Frank Black, and Sex Bob-Omb. I love every aspect of this movie.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World Trailer

#4: Sin City

 Here is where Robert Rodriguez earned mad nerd respect and Frank Miller earned the right to kill his movie making career all on his own. A shot for shot reproduction of the story lines The Big Fat Kill, That Yellow Bastard, The Hard Goodbye. This movie brought Mickey Rourke back from the dead, Bruce Willis out of the mediocre funk that his career was steering towards, and Josh Hartnett out of that goody goody, puppy dogs and rainbows movie guy he was becoming. With Carla Gugino, Benicio Del Toro, Brittany Murphy, Clive Owen, Elijah Wood playing the creepiest dude ever, and many others filling out the cast of this movie I'd be amazed if you haven't seen it. Yes it's shot in black and white with some hints of color at times. Yes it is, exactly, shot for shot from comic to movie. That's what makes it awesome. Somehow, this group of people, violated all the laws of entertainment physics and produced something completely awesome. Bravo.

Sin City Trailer

#3: Spiderman 2

 Thank you Sam Raimi. Thank you for making this. It helps me to forgive you for making Spiderman 3. This was one of the greatest comic book movies ever. Some good drama, great characterization, and a story that takes it's time and marinates to get the fullness of all it's flavors. Also some sweet ass Spidey on Doc Ock fight scenes. Sam Raimi gave it to us in this one. Alfred Molina, Tobey Maguire, and James Franco, each, show us their good sides and act the crap out of this movie. This movie hits me in all the right places. It gives you that nice Spidey feeling that you get when you read the comics.

Spiderman 2 Trailer

#2: Dark Knight

Anyone who disagrees is a Commie. The writing. The directing. The acting. Every part of this movie is pure, undiluted awesometown. A  movie that takes a comic book and makes it feel like it's happening in the real world. Greatly developed and portrayed characters. A gripping story. And finally a Joker that Batman is afraid of. This movie also adds itself to the few movies that have escaped the rule of the sequel. Dark Knight is the Empire Strikes Back/Aliens/Godfather 2 of the Nolanverse trilogy. It's the best. The greatest. The most awesomest.
The Dark Knight Trailer

#1: Superman

Fuck you if you don't like Superman: The Movie. It's the movie that made me believe a man could fly so it will always be here.
Superman opening 

Any nerd everywhere will have a special place in their brains and hearts for every one of these movies. They're there to fill us all with wonder and joy. So please...don't be a Commie. Go watch them and enjoy.

It's been a while. Don't care.

Since I haven't posted in a while and Neil Armstrong just passed I'm posting this.

Hot Taco. Yeah. It's pretty hot baby.

There I was, parking for a show at the Fillmore, when I saw it. A new place to eat. Let us see what is up with this. Walk in and it looks a bit unfinished. Not in a bad way but in a "We're done with the basics but can serve food safely." kinda way. Simple set-up. Counter with stools. Wall tables with stools. A simple get in, get your food, and get out kinda place. Luckily it smells good so I'm gonna see what this is all about.

 Looking at the menu I gotta say they have an impressive array of meats. Steak, fish, chorizo, TWO different types of chicken?! Be still my carnivorousness. Since this is my first go I'm gonna keep it simple. I'm getting the Hot Taco chicken, a steak, and a chorizo. The chorizo one is a bit dry but all in all these tacos were pretty sweet. They were tasty, also fit in my hand and in my belly in that good way. Definitely gonna come back again.

 And I did. I got the pork taco and fish taco. The pork taco was quite possibly the best pork taco I've had. BBQ pork, mango salsa, cheese, and onions coming together in a way that made my belly sing. I really want another of these tacos and the staff does not judge me in any way when I get another. They're friendly, but not super quick. It's not that they're slow it's just that they take their time. It's okay. I'm good with waiting as long as the wait is worth it.

 Prices here aren't that bad. You can easily grab a few tacos for 6 to 7 bucks. They're warm, tasty, and hit the spot before or after an event in Detroit. A nice change from the everyday bar places that surround the Fillmore/Fox/Comerica Park area. My suggestion is go there and taste it for yourself. It's located on Park, directly behind the Fox. Right where all that parking is. I'm thinking the next time you go to see the Tigers play that sport they play (Is it rugby? I really don't know sports) you should go try it out.

Hot Taco

Tacos Tacos Tacos

3.5 out of 5

http://hottacodetroit.com/hottaco/menu.html

The Guild: I'm the One That's Cool

I feel the urge to post this here because I haven't posted in a bit. I love Felicia Day and have since she was Vi in Buffy. One day I'll become super-rich, build a nerd stronghold, and declare my love to her. I think she'll be really impressed by the replicas of Narsil and the array of lightsabers I'll have. Also the HUGE comic book and DVD collection I'll get.

Oh JT. You got some great abs dude.

 Time as currency. Interesting concept. Interesting movie. Oh snap! It's written and directed by Andrew Niccol! That guy did Gattaca. I like it already. Let's see if it's any good. It's got JT, Cillian Murphy, Amanda Seyfried, Vincent Kartheiser, Johnny Galecki and whoa, there's some Olivia Wilde. Didn't know she was in it. And she isn't given billing or a ginormous part. Good on her.
 Basic premise is that sometime in the future the human race has become so genetically engineered that time is now the currency. You age until you're 25, your clock having only a year and what ever you work to add to it, then when you hit 25, stop aging, and your clock starts counting down. Your clock runs out. You die. Time is now the currency. You use it to buy everything. Food. Shelter. Cars. Clothes. Everything. Will Salas (JT) lives with his mother Rachel (Wilde) in the ghetto time zone. They live day to day, barely making enough time to live. Will sees a man (You'll probably know him as Matthew Bomer, or Bryce Larkin if you watch Chuck) in his after work bar, who's sitting around with over a century on his clock, flashing it around for all to see.  Especially The Minutemen (Think of them as a gang) who break up the crowd and try to take his time. JT saves him and they have a nice bonding moment while hiding. In the morning, the man gives JT his time, essentially committing suicide and the hi-jinks go on from there.
 I liked the movie. Even though it has the EASILY predictable Bonnie and Clyde storyline going I liked it. Visually appealing, thanks to Niccol's sweet style. The story flowed well. Over all I'm gonna say see this movie. If you liked Gattaca (Which if you DON'T like Gattaca what the fuck is wrong with you?) you'll like this movie. Go get it.

In Time
Blu/Ray DVD
Rating: 3.5 out 5

His awesome is hitting near god-like proportions.



  He's slowly absorbing all of the awesome in the world.

And he said unto the Nerds "Here is the trailer."

...and nerds everywhere needed a change of pants. I have watched this everyday since it was released.

Musique. (A fancy way of saying Music which, if you're my age, the popular kids call that shitty fucking noise that is projected from radio stations)

 So I'm sitting here listening to Scheherazade by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov (What? I'm a classy dude at times. I like classical music and you should too you tasteless heathen.) and I caught myself wondering what my top five songs were. The whole if I was stranded on a desert island and all that crap scenario. What five songs would I be able to listen too until the day I die if they were the only ones I could listen too? SO pondered as I ate my Doritos and searched my music library. I made a list of 20 or so songs and went to my Thinking Chair to really ponder it. When my decisions were made I washed my hands and came here to inform you of the greatness my brain meats have come up with. Without further ado here are the five songs that I could listen to forever.

#5: Roads by Portishead
 The first time I heard this song it was in the movie Tank Girl. Yes. Tank Girl with Lori Petty and Ice T as a humanoid kangaroo. This is probably one of the main reasons I love this movie so much. The song is the reason I'm here though so lets move on. The song is just has this slow, low toned, melancholy beauty that just gets to me. If you listen to the lyrics it's a very lonely song. Kind of fitting for being alone on a desert island.
Roads by Portishead

#4: Missing You by Jem
 I grabbed her CD when I saw her live. Never heard her before. Had no clue who she was or what kind of music I was in for but went to the show anyways. I was nowhere near disappointed. The stage presence and pipes on this woman blew me away, this song in particular, sent me straight to the merch table to buy anything of hers that had her music on it. I put this CD in my car and it didn't leave my radio for months.
Missing You by Jem

#3: Elenore by The Turtles
 I have never been able to explain my inability to be silent during this song.  I have to dance. I HAVE to sing. It's just so awesome. Just a great song about a dude who loves a dame named Elenore. He can't shut up about her and I can't shut up during the song. I love it.
Elenore by The Turtles

#2: En Aranjuez Con Tu Amor by Joaquin Rodrigo or Danny Boy, both performed by the Grimthorpe Colliery Band
 You'd have to be the most unfeeling bastard in the world to not be moved by these brass songs. I love them and would go full blown gay for both. Just the emotion and skill pouring out of the instruments and into every cell of my body from these songs is awesome. I will openly weep anytime I hear this rendition of Danny Boy I don't care where I am. This version of En Aranjuez is so beautiful I wanna take it out to a nice dinner, take it home, and just cuddle and watch movies. Just take it slow so our relationship is perfect.

En Aranjuez Con Tu Amor by Joaquin Rodrigo performed by Grimthorpe Colliery

Danny Boy performed by the Grimthorpe Colliery Band

#1: The Departure by Michael Nyman
 Yes I know. Another song from a movie. Blah blah blah suck it. I love this song. I can listen to it all the time and still haven't gotten sick of it and I've been listening to it since 1997.

The Departure by Michael Nyman

These are just five songs from the bajillions that I'm feeling are my top five right now. Yes I can count to six but shut your pie hole. It was rough going getting below eight. This will probably change tomorrow but for right now I gotta say I could go to a deserted island with just these songs as my only music and still have a pretty sweet life for my ears. Check them out and enjoy.

If you want yours you've gotta let everyone have a say.

Tasty tasty toasted bread cubes.

 Croutons. Yes I'm gonna talk about croutons. Why do I love them in the way I do? I don't make salads just to eat the croutons out, oh no. I buy bags and just eat them straight. Sometimes I make a salad FROM the croutons. Mix a couple flavors together in a bowl, add Italian / Ranch / Caesar dressing, maybe some cheese, and you've got some good eats. I found that Marie Callender's Caesar, and Garlic and Cheese flavored

are the best when mixed together. I've done my research here people. I have, for the safety of mankind, used myself for my sick and twisted crouton experiments. You're welcome.
 Another great way to eat croutons is French Onion, or Tomato, soup. I have gone through two bags of Marie Callender (my brand of choice right now) croutons just mixing them with the soup. French Onion soup I will admit is near and dear to my heart but Tomato? It's sole purpose in it's sad existence is to be used to make other soups or to dip your grilled cheese in. You never eat, or need, a whole can of it in either of those circumstances. I've done it though. Because of croutons. Step one: pour a bowl. Step two: mix in croutons. Step three: empty bowls contents into your belly. Step four: Check and notice you still have more croutons. Step five: repeat from step one. Croutons will make me need all the Tomato soup.
 I'm afraid to learn how to make them at home because I'd become an even bigger fat ass. I'd just constantly be making croutons and eating them. Crispy, delicious, toasted bread cubes just asking me to eat them all. Constantly eating them all. Screw salads! I just want the croutons. I went to my local grocery store and saw they had the Marie Callander's on sale at ten for ten dollars. I'm already out of the first trip. That was three days ago. I'm gonna have to go back and restock. I wonder if I can get one of those store credit cards and max it out on croutons...we'll see.

Have I memorized the song on this and do I constantly sing it? Yes. Yes I do.

Also I was here. Killin' dragons and eating their souls.

 Yup. I've been playing Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Almost non-stop. For two months. I'm not sure I've even showered much since I became the Dragonborn but that doesn't matter 'cause I'm all locked in my dungeon, alone, rarely wearing pants. The game has great graphics and smooth game play. It's got an entertaining story and a HUGE open world. I haven't even gotten close to finishing this game and I really have been playing it at near high school kid levels. I love it for that. In this day and age of the straightforward RPG that keeps you going on a straight path with very few twists and turns, Skyrim has an open world that keeps you playing, and exploring, and just wandering the land until you open and discover every single thing. And that is what I'm doing. Still. I've easily clocked a couple hundred hours on it and I'm nowhere near the end of all the main quests or side quests. I'm just wandering aimlessly, killing nearly everything in my path.
 The few problems I have with this game is the over-encumbrance issues and the level max. I know they're going for a realistic feel to carrying objects but damn it I miss the days of stockpiling everything on my character. Never having to worry when I'm going through a dungeon/castle/whatever. Thinking that if I pick something up I might not be able to move and have to stop halfway through it and go back to my main house to unload would be nice. And a level max. I miss the days of gaining god-like power when you reach a max level and in this day and age how is there even a max level. It was always 99 because back in the day I don't think numbers after that existed for levels but still when you hit it there was no enemy in the game that made you scared. The game pretty much became you, as a being of God-like power, destroying everything in your path with ease. Also the glitch when you're unloading and the scrolling will go down for a few, then up suddenly, then down maybe or up some more being fixed would be nice. I hate accidentally unloading things I don't want to unload because I had a shitload of Forsworn Armors, but halfway through me unloading the 5 of them it changed to something else for no reason. That gets on my damn nerves. I'm definitely feeling like an old fogey for having this kind of talk here but these are just some of the few things that I don't like about this game.
 It's a great game and you need to go buy it. Play it. And kiss any and almost all social life goodbye because it will own you in such a good way. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go get me mo' Petty Soul Gems and fill them with my Soul Trap enchanted Ebony Bow and Orcish Arrows.


Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Fantasy Role Playing Game
Bethesda

I'M BACK! I know. No one cares except for that creepy dude over there.

In honor of my triumphant return to a nice, malware free, computer I give you this! Yet another rip on The Twilights. BUFFY RULES!