Tasty tasty toasted bread cubes.

 Croutons. Yes I'm gonna talk about croutons. Why do I love them in the way I do? I don't make salads just to eat the croutons out, oh no. I buy bags and just eat them straight. Sometimes I make a salad FROM the croutons. Mix a couple flavors together in a bowl, add Italian / Ranch / Caesar dressing, maybe some cheese, and you've got some good eats. I found that Marie Callender's Caesar, and Garlic and Cheese flavored

are the best when mixed together. I've done my research here people. I have, for the safety of mankind, used myself for my sick and twisted crouton experiments. You're welcome.
 Another great way to eat croutons is French Onion, or Tomato, soup. I have gone through two bags of Marie Callender (my brand of choice right now) croutons just mixing them with the soup. French Onion soup I will admit is near and dear to my heart but Tomato? It's sole purpose in it's sad existence is to be used to make other soups or to dip your grilled cheese in. You never eat, or need, a whole can of it in either of those circumstances. I've done it though. Because of croutons. Step one: pour a bowl. Step two: mix in croutons. Step three: empty bowls contents into your belly. Step four: Check and notice you still have more croutons. Step five: repeat from step one. Croutons will make me need all the Tomato soup.
 I'm afraid to learn how to make them at home because I'd become an even bigger fat ass. I'd just constantly be making croutons and eating them. Crispy, delicious, toasted bread cubes just asking me to eat them all. Constantly eating them all. Screw salads! I just want the croutons. I went to my local grocery store and saw they had the Marie Callander's on sale at ten for ten dollars. I'm already out of the first trip. That was three days ago. I'm gonna have to go back and restock. I wonder if I can get one of those store credit cards and max it out on croutons...we'll see.