His awesome is hitting near god-like proportions.



  He's slowly absorbing all of the awesome in the world.

And he said unto the Nerds "Here is the trailer."

...and nerds everywhere needed a change of pants. I have watched this everyday since it was released.

Musique. (A fancy way of saying Music which, if you're my age, the popular kids call that shitty fucking noise that is projected from radio stations)

 So I'm sitting here listening to Scheherazade by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov (What? I'm a classy dude at times. I like classical music and you should too you tasteless heathen.) and I caught myself wondering what my top five songs were. The whole if I was stranded on a desert island and all that crap scenario. What five songs would I be able to listen too until the day I die if they were the only ones I could listen too? SO pondered as I ate my Doritos and searched my music library. I made a list of 20 or so songs and went to my Thinking Chair to really ponder it. When my decisions were made I washed my hands and came here to inform you of the greatness my brain meats have come up with. Without further ado here are the five songs that I could listen to forever.

#5: Roads by Portishead
 The first time I heard this song it was in the movie Tank Girl. Yes. Tank Girl with Lori Petty and Ice T as a humanoid kangaroo. This is probably one of the main reasons I love this movie so much. The song is the reason I'm here though so lets move on. The song is just has this slow, low toned, melancholy beauty that just gets to me. If you listen to the lyrics it's a very lonely song. Kind of fitting for being alone on a desert island.
Roads by Portishead

#4: Missing You by Jem
 I grabbed her CD when I saw her live. Never heard her before. Had no clue who she was or what kind of music I was in for but went to the show anyways. I was nowhere near disappointed. The stage presence and pipes on this woman blew me away, this song in particular, sent me straight to the merch table to buy anything of hers that had her music on it. I put this CD in my car and it didn't leave my radio for months.
Missing You by Jem

#3: Elenore by The Turtles
 I have never been able to explain my inability to be silent during this song.  I have to dance. I HAVE to sing. It's just so awesome. Just a great song about a dude who loves a dame named Elenore. He can't shut up about her and I can't shut up during the song. I love it.
Elenore by The Turtles

#2: En Aranjuez Con Tu Amor by Joaquin Rodrigo or Danny Boy, both performed by the Grimthorpe Colliery Band
 You'd have to be the most unfeeling bastard in the world to not be moved by these brass songs. I love them and would go full blown gay for both. Just the emotion and skill pouring out of the instruments and into every cell of my body from these songs is awesome. I will openly weep anytime I hear this rendition of Danny Boy I don't care where I am. This version of En Aranjuez is so beautiful I wanna take it out to a nice dinner, take it home, and just cuddle and watch movies. Just take it slow so our relationship is perfect.

En Aranjuez Con Tu Amor by Joaquin Rodrigo performed by Grimthorpe Colliery

Danny Boy performed by the Grimthorpe Colliery Band

#1: The Departure by Michael Nyman
 Yes I know. Another song from a movie. Blah blah blah suck it. I love this song. I can listen to it all the time and still haven't gotten sick of it and I've been listening to it since 1997.

The Departure by Michael Nyman

These are just five songs from the bajillions that I'm feeling are my top five right now. Yes I can count to six but shut your pie hole. It was rough going getting below eight. This will probably change tomorrow but for right now I gotta say I could go to a deserted island with just these songs as my only music and still have a pretty sweet life for my ears. Check them out and enjoy.

If you want yours you've gotta let everyone have a say.

Tasty tasty toasted bread cubes.

 Croutons. Yes I'm gonna talk about croutons. Why do I love them in the way I do? I don't make salads just to eat the croutons out, oh no. I buy bags and just eat them straight. Sometimes I make a salad FROM the croutons. Mix a couple flavors together in a bowl, add Italian / Ranch / Caesar dressing, maybe some cheese, and you've got some good eats. I found that Marie Callender's Caesar, and Garlic and Cheese flavored

are the best when mixed together. I've done my research here people. I have, for the safety of mankind, used myself for my sick and twisted crouton experiments. You're welcome.
 Another great way to eat croutons is French Onion, or Tomato, soup. I have gone through two bags of Marie Callender (my brand of choice right now) croutons just mixing them with the soup. French Onion soup I will admit is near and dear to my heart but Tomato? It's sole purpose in it's sad existence is to be used to make other soups or to dip your grilled cheese in. You never eat, or need, a whole can of it in either of those circumstances. I've done it though. Because of croutons. Step one: pour a bowl. Step two: mix in croutons. Step three: empty bowls contents into your belly. Step four: Check and notice you still have more croutons. Step five: repeat from step one. Croutons will make me need all the Tomato soup.
 I'm afraid to learn how to make them at home because I'd become an even bigger fat ass. I'd just constantly be making croutons and eating them. Crispy, delicious, toasted bread cubes just asking me to eat them all. Constantly eating them all. Screw salads! I just want the croutons. I went to my local grocery store and saw they had the Marie Callander's on sale at ten for ten dollars. I'm already out of the first trip. That was three days ago. I'm gonna have to go back and restock. I wonder if I can get one of those store credit cards and max it out on croutons...we'll see.

Have I memorized the song on this and do I constantly sing it? Yes. Yes I do.

Also I was here. Killin' dragons and eating their souls.

 Yup. I've been playing Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Almost non-stop. For two months. I'm not sure I've even showered much since I became the Dragonborn but that doesn't matter 'cause I'm all locked in my dungeon, alone, rarely wearing pants. The game has great graphics and smooth game play. It's got an entertaining story and a HUGE open world. I haven't even gotten close to finishing this game and I really have been playing it at near high school kid levels. I love it for that. In this day and age of the straightforward RPG that keeps you going on a straight path with very few twists and turns, Skyrim has an open world that keeps you playing, and exploring, and just wandering the land until you open and discover every single thing. And that is what I'm doing. Still. I've easily clocked a couple hundred hours on it and I'm nowhere near the end of all the main quests or side quests. I'm just wandering aimlessly, killing nearly everything in my path.
 The few problems I have with this game is the over-encumbrance issues and the level max. I know they're going for a realistic feel to carrying objects but damn it I miss the days of stockpiling everything on my character. Never having to worry when I'm going through a dungeon/castle/whatever. Thinking that if I pick something up I might not be able to move and have to stop halfway through it and go back to my main house to unload would be nice. And a level max. I miss the days of gaining god-like power when you reach a max level and in this day and age how is there even a max level. It was always 99 because back in the day I don't think numbers after that existed for levels but still when you hit it there was no enemy in the game that made you scared. The game pretty much became you, as a being of God-like power, destroying everything in your path with ease. Also the glitch when you're unloading and the scrolling will go down for a few, then up suddenly, then down maybe or up some more being fixed would be nice. I hate accidentally unloading things I don't want to unload because I had a shitload of Forsworn Armors, but halfway through me unloading the 5 of them it changed to something else for no reason. That gets on my damn nerves. I'm definitely feeling like an old fogey for having this kind of talk here but these are just some of the few things that I don't like about this game.
 It's a great game and you need to go buy it. Play it. And kiss any and almost all social life goodbye because it will own you in such a good way. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go get me mo' Petty Soul Gems and fill them with my Soul Trap enchanted Ebony Bow and Orcish Arrows.


Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Fantasy Role Playing Game
Bethesda

I'M BACK! I know. No one cares except for that creepy dude over there.

In honor of my triumphant return to a nice, malware free, computer I give you this! Yet another rip on The Twilights. BUFFY RULES!